BLUE HOODIE DEALER (FROSTY THE SNOW MAN)
BLUE HOODIE DEALER
IS A TWEAKING FREAKIN SOUL
WITH A SCABBY LIP AND A GIMPY HIP
AND A COKE CAN FOR A BOWL
BLUE HOODIE DEALER
HAS A GANG OF BUMS AND HOES
HE COMMANDS THE BLOCK LIKE A FIGHTIN COCK
AND HE DOESN’T CARE WHO KNOWS
THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME MAGIC IN THAT CRACK HE HAD TO SELL
CUZ HE COULD DEAL IN FRONT OF COPS
AND THEY DIDN’T GIVE A HELL
OH, BLUE HOODIE DEALER
DID HIS DEALS IN OUR DOORWAY
BUT HE WENT BYE BYE , NOW WE CAN’T GET HIGH
HE’LL BE BACK AGAIN SOME DAY
HE’LL BE BACK AGAIN SOME DAY!!!!!!!
Do you feel what I feel? (Do you Hear what I Hear?)
Said the dirty priest to the altar boy
Do you feel what i feel?
Way up in my robes altar boy?
Do you feel what I feel?
My schlong, my schlong
Swinging in the breeze
Won't you please get down on your knees?
Won't you please get down on your knees?
HELL NO I (DECK THE HALLS)
Hell no I won't give you a cigarette
Fuck off you god damn bum
No I won't take 25 cents
Fuuuck off you god damn bum
I just paid ten bucks at joes mart
Fuuuuuck oooooff
Maybe if you took a shower
Fuuuck off you god damn bum
See the street kids here before us
repeat
I GOTTA PEE (O CHRISTMAS TREE)
I GOTTA PEE I GOTTA PEE
WHERE IS A FUCKING BATHROOM?
I GOTTA PEE I GOTTA PEE
WHERE IS A FUCKING BATHROOM
I WALKED ALL O’ER THIS GODDAMN TOWN
BUT NOT ONE PISSER TO BE FOUND
I GOTTA PEE I GOTTA PEE
WHERE IS A FUCKING BATHROOM?
Market Wonderland (Winter Wonderland)
Sirens ring, are you listenin?
In the alley, bums are pissin
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Jaywalking in the market wonderland
Gone away are the gawkers
Here to stay, the crack hawkers
They sing their drug songs
As we go along
Jaywalking in the market wonderland
Near the market we can find a ho, man
She needs a little money for the road
She'll say, $20, we'll say, no man!
Your rotten teeth wont let me blow my load
Later on we'll get higher
As we dream by the fire
We'll sing dirty songs
And smoke from our bongs
Jaywalking in the market wonderland.
OFF MEDS MARCHING MAN (LITTLE DRUMMER BOY)
Psychotic marching man pa rum pa pum pum
Your screaming woke me up pa rum pa pum pum
Did you go off your meds? Pa rum pa pum pum
I'd like to kick your head pa rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum
So to sleep again pa rum pa pum pum
Me and my bum
Sweet Baby Jesus pa rum pa pum pum
It’s only 6am pa rum pa pum pum
You’re not in VietNam pa rum pa pum pum
Mother-fucking god-damn pa rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum, rum pa pum pum
Shall I call the cops pa rum pa pum pum
Me and my bum
The Christmas Song (chestnuts)
Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Daniels dripping from your nose
Crotch Mouth carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like bums and hoes
Everybody knows Wild Turkey and some Four Loko
Helps to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Should stay away from us tonight
We know that Santa Claus is gay
He's loaded lots of twinks and bears upon his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna cry
To see that reindeer know how to pile drive
And so I'm offering this dirty song
To kids eighteen to ninety two
Although it's been said
Many times many ways
Merry Christmas, Fuck You
Interlude, Repeat last verse
The 12 Days of Sexmas
And a blow job in the alley
2 butt plugs
3 French ticklers
4 call girls
5 cock rings
6 easy lays
7 sluts a' slurping
8 mom's a' milfing
9 strippers dancing
10 labia lickings
11 pussy poundings
12 dildos
TWAT-DRESS ( SLEIGH RIDE)
JUST SEE THOSE BOOBIES JIGGLING BOOTIES WIGGLING TOO
COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR SOME TWAT-DRESS CLUBBING WITH YOU
INSIDE THE REDBULL’S POURING AND FRIENDS ARE CALLING , YOU HOO!
COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR SOME TWAT-DRESS CLUBBING WITH YOU
TITTIES UP TITTIES UP TITTIES UP LETS GO!
WHO CARES ABOUT COLD?
IM GONNA WEAR THE TINIEST OF CLOTHES
TITTIES UP TITTIES UP TITTIES UP, WHOSE HAND
IS GRABBING MY ASS?
WE’RE DANCING ALONG TO A SONG ABOUT HOMIES WITH TOO MUCH CASH!
MY CHEEKS ARE NICE AND ROSY JUST TAKE A PEEK AND YOU’LL SEE
WE’RE HUDDLED UP TOGETHER BECAUSE WE GOTTA GO PEE
LET’S TAKE THAT CAB BEFORE I FALL DOWN AGAIN IN THESE SHOES
COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR SOME TWAT-DRESS CLUBBING WITH YOU!
THERE’S AN AFTER PARTY AT THE HOME OF CHARLES AND RAY
WE’LL BE DOING LINES OF COKE UNTIL THE LIGHT OF DAY
IT’LL REALLY BE LIKE THAT MOVIE SCENE, WHERE UMA ALMOST DIES
THESE WONDERFUL THINGS ARE THE THINGS WE REMEMBER ALL THROUGH OUR LIVES
JUST SEE THOSE BOOBIES JIGGLING BOOTIES WIGGLING TOO
COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR SOME TWAT-DRESS CLUBBING WITH YOU
INSIDE THE REDBULL’S POURING AND FRIENDS ARE CALLING , YOU HOES!
COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR SOME TWAT-DRESS CLUBBING WITH YOU
COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER FOR SOME TWAT-DRESS CLUBBING WITH YOU
TWAT DRESS!
Silent Night, Hipster Night
still working on this one...
Silent night, hipster night
Skinny jeans, oh so tight
Ride my fixie to Capital Hill
Buy my shirts and pants at Goodwill
Pass a PBR please
Pass a PBR please
Silent night, hipster night
Scraggly beard, oh so right
So ironic, this band is the shit
Nevermind, you wouldn't know it
CHRIST! MY CARDIGAN'S TORN !
Christ, my cardigan’s torn